It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The air was thick with penises
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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