My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
