If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There r osticjed everywhere
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
