and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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