so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
