shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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