"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
