i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
