well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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