if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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