im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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