Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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