woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ok first of all what the fuck
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
