That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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