He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
