i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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