i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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