shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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