He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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