Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
