I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize