why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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