my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
