Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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