is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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