but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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