Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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