goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
