I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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