Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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