Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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