That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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