I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
