well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Welp...herpes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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