Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.