Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
