Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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