her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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