Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
