I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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