I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
