Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
