You work out of a Hotel?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize