FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
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he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
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There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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