do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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