meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
