using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
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He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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