You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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