even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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