I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
