She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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