Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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