im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
