Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
