i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
