Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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