hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
