Will you blow on my dice?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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