at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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