we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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