he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
