All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hello my rib-scented angel!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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